I really love reading out loud to my kids. It’s for them, sure, but I also just love children’s literature for myself. There’s something so delightful about revisiting as an adult old favorites that made you love reading in the first place.
Leanor has been wanting to read “The Secret Garden” for months now. I had it read out loud to me in school when I was in the 6th grade, so I wasn’t sure my sweet 1st grader would stay engaged. But she insisted, so we gave it a shot. It was going pretty well, and then we stumbled across an interaction that had me cringing. A maidservant, Martha, and the main character, Mary, have a conversation about the natives in India. Mary had just returned to England from India after her entire family died of cholera. Martha tells Mary that she was wondering if Mary would be black, and Mary’s response is horror: How could Martha assume this? Natives aren’t even human.
I was shocked! I did NOT remember this being in this book at all. Either it’s a detail that slipped through the cracks of my 6th grade brain or my teacher simply skipped over it. Honestly, that was my first reaction too, to skip it. I felt deeply uncomfortable, and I was really unsure of what to say. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that this is how people really thought then (and how some people still think) about people with different skin colors. Am I doing my kids a disservice by skipping over this and pretending like it’s not there?
So I went back and read the passage as written, and asked my kids a few questions: Is this true? Are people inhuman because they have different skin colors? What does God have to say about this idea? Then we talked about how God created each person with intention and in His image, and how every person no matter the amount of melanin in their skin has value & worth.
I’m not writing all of this because I’ve got it figured out. I cannot stress to you how little I have figured out about parenting. 😂😂 I’m writing this because I recognize my own resistance to having conversations that make me uncomfortable and uncertain. It’s humbling to know that so many parents don’t have the option of simply skipping over the hard parts. These ideologies directly involve them and their kids because of their skin color.
When you dig deep to the root of censorship, you will always find fear. We fear what messages our kids are receiving. We fear how they’re going to respond. We fear not having a right response for them. We fear exposing them too soon. I certainly felt it reading “The Secret Garden.” It’s just easier to ban something than to have a conversation.
God gave us a high calling to teach our kids, and when we skip over the truly despicable, we are missing organic opportunities to prepare them to combat it when they come up against it in their real life experiences. Fear wins when we hide. I really want my kids to be able to discern when they read and watch, to be able to filter it through the lens of Truth. They learn this by watching us as parents do it ourselves, but they also learn when we take the time to teach them.
I’m not saying that we don’t use wisdom in what our kids consume. It’s every parent’s responsibility to consider what is appropriate for their family & even their individual child in their development. What I am saying is that if letting our kids see the ugly side of human hearts allows us to have conversations that lead back to how good God is, why not have that conversation? Maybe when we push past our own fear and expose the darkness, they will better appreciate & love the Light.
A Good Crisis 
It’s so important that you had the conversation. You’re talking to your children and that’s the important thing!